My bf keeps getting sex/casual dating spam mail – must I get worried or run?
Hello. I would ike to begin by letting you know about myself. We am an extremely intelligent, fiercely separate, and appealing 41 12 months old mother of three (21, 19 & 18). that I have actually raised on my own. I’m now at a true point in my own life where At long last have actually the freedom to devote myself to a relationship. Back in July 2013, we met some guy online and we’ve been together since. Really, now our company is residing together. To tell the truth, at first, i did not think he had been my type that is exact we thought I might provide him an opportunity. After a couple of months of dating, things he stated never ever began incorporating up. So, after some investigating, understood he had explained a few lies. Whenever very very very first confronted. he attempted to lie about it more. Justifying the lies by saying he simply desired to be ideal for me personally. This nearly broke us up. But I offered us another possibility. I would ike to include, among the lies was which he have been alone (no relationships or intercourse) since their final relationship that is serious that has been 2 yrs previous. I discovered that hard to think, but I’d been alone for over four years (by option) – therefore I offered him the advantage of the question. Who had been we to state otherwise? After providing me passwords to their facebook and e-mail records (to trust that is earn i came across conversations along with other girl which suggested he had had many flings. Also communications to buddies saying he’d been with more than 15 ladies in 30 days! once I confronted him once more. he claimed. it had been bull crap. simply guys playing it to help make himself look good. In the last couple of months, i’ve found which he had active records on other sites that are dating. Whenever I viewed the game, there clearly was absolutely nothing current. I inquired him about any of it in which he told us to delete every thing. I am loved by him and forgot he also had them. So we did. Now, recently, he’s got been getting spam mail from web internet web sites like “flirt” f*ckbuddy” and others. Whenever we ask him. he simply states it’s spam and do just do it an investigate for yourself and delete every thing we find. He first laughs about any of it whenever confronted. after which gets mad at me personally for perhaps not trusting him. since far as i’m concerned – he could be damn happy to possess me personally and I also have always been furious for the possibility he might be searching somewhere else for excitement. seeing that he scarcely touches me personally. I will be frustrated because he just wants sex when he desires it and I also can’t be “in the feeling” without getting accused of tossing a tantrum because I’m not “getting any”. He informs me if i’d like anyone to “rail me personally every evening” to get find somebody else”. This hurts me because i will be really appealing and in good physical shape. Apparently i’m great during sex and all sorts of of their buddies (young and old) simply tell him he has got an excellent girlfriend that is hot “what is she doing with you?”. He could be for me to see at any given time with me all the time and leaves his phone and passwords open. Therefore I can not see him really cheating on me personally. Just what exactly you think. he could be telling me personally the facts or being produced fool that is complete?
Final modified by tbay72; 04-12-2014 at 11:43 AM .
I do believe he could be getting spam because he had been on a lot of web web sites.
We additionally think you have got settled.for some body you may be attempting to make fit. Your libidos are not in sync, he’s got a propensity to lie and there has been enough “chances” provided spread. Life is simply too quick to be in for “Mr OK”.
Month >>he’d been with over 15 women in one! ..seeing as he hardly touches me. . he has got been getting spam mail from web internet web sites like “flirt” f*ckbuddy” and others.
OK, that together results in possible issues.
First, you understand he lies.
If he’s seeing 15 ladies a month, he might have a flavor for anonymous ‘dirty’ intercourse. A lot of males had been raised on porn movies and will get yourself a style for that type of ‘dirty woman’ thing although not wanting his girl that is regular to ‘dirty’. Therefore he desires their intercourse become ‘dirty’ with random females, but their wishes their partner to be ‘clean’ and most likely doesn’t desire ‘normal’ intercourse he can’t resolve that old fashioned tramp/madonna complex with her much because his appetite is for ‘dirty’ and. Which means you’re their Madonna, and they are their tramps. So he will not be too thinking about sex to you if he is busily shagging girls shopping for dirty/porn type sex regarding the part.
Additionally the dirty spam many most most likely means he’s been visiting sites for porn or even to connect, that get him on mailing lists for intercourse spam. He’s perhaps maybe not likely to obtain an intercourse spam e-mail list from visiting most sites that are non-sex but can get their email address offered to many other intercourse sites/spam if he visits web sites that pander to porn or sex hookups.
Which means this would certainly offer me pause. The worst thing is the lying, specially about their intimate history. He could be lying about making love along with other ladies, and SAYING he’s lying about sex with 15 girls to their buddies, as he might very well be doing both, exaggerating the quantity a little to wow their buddies, yet nevertheless seeing ladies on the medial side as f*buddies. In which he’s 40s, not 15! that bragging bravado is ridiculous at his age.
And so I think this might provide me pause. Making me go right to the medical practitioner to have tested for STDs. To be honest he could offer you their passwords for e-mail, phone, FB etc., however it is ridiculously very easy to produce another e-mail and FB account under another name(or use a variant just of their own) and not let you know about it. And acquire a burner phone you do not find out about to set up hookups along with other ladies. A womanizer is known by me which is just what he did. He previously one formal identification and group of is the reason his spouse, and differing accounts/phone for their other females.
Of course a man who had been said to be my BF switched me straight down for intercourse? Ummm no, he’d get dumped. He is most likely making love along with other females frequently sufficient which he does not need/want it away from you. And when he’s the sort who desires a ‘pure’ GF and lots of trampy women regarding the relative part, it could additionally explain this sort of behavior.
You may make an effort to investigate more to see if he’s cheating in the part. (personal detective? keylogger on your personal computer?). But genuinely i’m not sure if I would stick to a liar or somebody rejecting me personally intimately like he does you. We dated some guy whom ended up to possess a complete dual survive along side it taking place, plus the 2nd you do not feel you are able to trust someone or they are liars/hiding their genuine selves, it’s essentially over.
I am divorced for 6 years and I also get spam sex still mail to my account. This might be password that is MY. and it also states, Hi wanna be my f**k buddy and don’t forget me personally? This is certainly. blah, blah, blah.
I have it on a regular basis! Therefore with that said, spam sex email messages aren’t anything.
The rest of the material. I’m not sure.
Whenever my ex bf had an event, an element of the healing and getting past it absolutely was him being ‘transparent’. like providing you the device, passwords etc.
He could be doing all that. And a lot of individuals on right here would think WOW you’re overstepping your boundaries. So my estimation is, he wishes you and just you. and about it if you don’t lay off the nagging him. he’ll get fed up with it and perhaps look elsewhere.
Rather than thinking how wonderful and hot YOU MAY BE. begin thinking just exactly how wonderful he could be by providing you access that is full every thing he’s got! For me he’s bending over backwards to prove to you he could be trustworthy!
The way the heck i missed the ‘he hardly touches me personally’ I do not understand. Perhaps he could be experiencing like he is getting used as being a ‘sex device’. lol I had a guy who said that once when it was wanted by me!
But like i said, the spam is absolutely absolutely nothing.